Life: A-Z

I wanted to share this piece before I go. As I am building this transformational coaching business and discovering what I love to do and how I want to work with clients, I was drawn to talking about this piece of art. We have dear family friends who gave me this piece of artwork for my birthday last year. They were down in Carmel shopping and saw this piece and I am touched to say they thought of me. It is a metal art piece that will hang on the wall of my new office (this is the long range vision...for now it lives propped up against the wall in my bedroom where I am inspired by the message daily.) It is a long vertical piece made of out of pieces of metal and then the phrase Life A-Z is etched in the top center and the following words run down the middle of the piece...a beautiful, long piece! The words however are horizontal...a great combination!

I mentioned I was touched when they thought of me for this reason...I work in community theatre and I have for 20 plus years. I am an Associate Director as well as an actress. I have worked with hundreds of actors over the years and one of the most basic tasks for the actor is developing the character; learning as much as they can about who this character is, what they want, how are they motivated, why did they make this choice, because of course, in the play or musical, the script is set, the actor is working to create the character in a given set of circumstances. As I have continued to open to spirit in my life, I find I use "the all the worlds a stage" metaphor and look at my life as a character in a play. So I was touched when these friends thought of me when they saw Life A-Z and all the beautiful, amazing, magical words connected with "this" life. Here was an opportunity as the "character in the play" to see how I was perceived by others; to learn what was being seen in the mirror of life. I was humbled and happy to be seen, to be understood, to have this affirmation of Life A-Z living me. It occurred to me, as I plan to audition for shows again as a actor, to add as part of my coaching services, coaching actors for auditions or learning more about themselves and their acting process. I realize that this is at the heart of the coaching work...the more awareness about our "characters" the more we are known, not just to others but to ourselves, the more alive we feel and live. So, let me know, what is your Life A-Z? What would be the words you would etch? I would love to hear some descriptions of your "character!"

Life A-Z

Art

Balance

Choices

Dream

Education

Freedom

Goals

Health

Ideals

Joy

Karma

Love

Music

Nature

Open

Play

Quality

Respect

Sports

Tradition

Unite

Voice

Wonder

XoXo

You

Zeal

It's All In The Perspective

I'm back, I hoped I would be back and I AM.

The thought floated up yesterday morning as I was brushing my teeth, "Was I still falling or if I wasn't falling anymore, where had I landed, where was I?" Then it happened, the shift. This experience of the shift happens more and more...I was sharing with a friend this morning that I often have these experiences while brushing my teeth! I am aware that the intuitive mind is free and I perceive something quite different than with the analytical mind. My friend said that in an interview Maya Angelou speaks of the small mind/big mind and her observation that when the small mind is occupied with a rote task, (just like throwing a dog a bone), than the big mind is free to explore. As part of her writing process, Maya checks herself into a hotel room and spends all day playing solitaire and writing. While she plays cards, the ideas flow and then she stops and writes. Well, mine is brushing my teeth...though, I haven't started brushing my teeth and THEN writing, nothing so intentional, hmhmhm...I must give this some thought!
Ah, the rambling again, I still have yet to tell what the realization was, the ah ha! As a budding writer, I am aware of increasing the suspense, like a great detective novel, knowing the reader is hanging on every word! At this point, it is far more likely that one hasn't remember where the heck this started, but I trust reading a been a pleasant journey! Ok, here we go...just like those shows about transformation: THE BIG REVEAL. Here was the realization and it was as I have experienced again and again with realizations, an "expected" surprise. I love this phrase and I have experienced this time and again the last several years; knowing what I know, experiencing the truth of something that previously was upsetting, or causing suffering or fear. The realization was that "YES" I was still falling and the voice said, "there is only falling, only change and chaos, there is no landing" and then... "bing" the perspective shifted and the view changed from vertical-falling to horizontal-flowing. Just like that, everything changed in that moment and there was a sense of calm and peace and the small mind/big mind were for a moment, just that moment, having the same experience. I am familiar with falling, but I am also familiar with flowing and the truth is "flowing" doesn't leave; it doesn't go away, it is always there and infinite and eternal. And in that moment of being back in the flowing, the river of life, there was a deep and profound sense of peace. My hunch is I will fall again and again and again, but this awareness, this bell will not be unrung. There is the knowing that this sense of falling, this fear, this suffering is contained in the river, the bedrock, the earth and I will flow with the fall and fall into the flow.

PostScript: May you find your "dog bone" today for the small mind and let the big mind; the intuitive mind, free to discover and explore new perceptions, ah yes, New Perspectives. Second PostScript: I am off to "brush my teeth!" Stay tuned! Third PostScript: Actually, I will be on a five day silent retreat beginning this evening until Friday afternoon... So, stay tuned for the week of the 14th...when I will really return from brushing my teeth!

Pride Goeth Before The Fall

I'm back...I am a dilettante blogger...I will attempt to write more freely and often and I suspect with more spontaneity and freedom to express what wants to be expressed with less "thought" as to a salient topic or point. Really, there often is no point, stuff just happens, shit happens, surrender happens, at least that is my experience. Today was a "fall" day...there aren't too many left as it will soon be a winter day. It was a fall and a "fall" day. I continue to experience stretching and until recently, I wasn't very flexible. I am more and more becoming and in the becoming I am Elastigirl from The Incredibles; very stretchy! Stretchy is good, stretchy is exciting and stretchy is painful! Life keeps limbering me up; but the muscles tighten again each time and the stretch though familiar is still challenging.

The continuing experience in my life is not having enough money...yes, and month after month after month, "loss" after loss after loss, there is still more to lose, more to strip away. I wrote today to a colleague, of whom I asked for consideration on a payment; that I was weary of the growth and stretching that this experience continues to bring; I do see the brilliance and perfection at moments and at moments I am frankly, tired. Yes, I feel a weariness today and I realize it is because I believe there is something to fight, something that is resistant to the reality of my current circumstances. So, today, I asked for compassion and forgiveness and exposed my vulnerabilities. After I asked for this consideration, I could feel Proud Mary rise up within me and challenge what I had done, what I had asked for. And then, the magical banner floated through my minds eye and the phrase, "pride goeth before the fall." This is from Proverbs 16, "pride goeth before destruction," and I felt the shift, the energy move to this other experience, ah ha, it is time to fall again. Kali the Destroyer is back to do more reconstruction. So here, on this twilight evening with a harvest moon hanging low in the sky, I am falling and I do not know when or where I will land. But rest assured, this journey, this stretching, this pride falling, it is an honor to experience...I'll be back.